when someone suprises you with a picture and you actually look good
*sees person 3 miles away* *holds door open for them*
attention shoppers, will the owner of the blue monster truck parked outside please report to the front. that thing is fucking sick and the manager wants to shake your hand
me as a lawyer: kk that was rude .
how to subtly approach your crush
when my mom doesnt bring mcdonalds home
i dont care WHAT you say or if im a grown man i will not give up my swing for your 3 year old son he can fucking wait his turn