my mom just said “watch this” then ran a red light and said “i just don’t care”
i pay tuition at this school i want a meeting with the damn president of this school
imagine if you named your kid dad. just dad.
Actually that’s just his nickname. His real name is [trucks honking], but everyone just calls him dad.
Steal his look: Tobias Fünke (never nude)
MICHEAL KORS Dunmore Camouflage Weekender: $748.00
White 1000 Count Egyptian Cotton Down Comforter: $800.00
Wool/Silk Experia Crew Socks: $17.99 (a pair)
Birkenstock Arizona Aviator Men’s Sandels: $159.00
Giorgio Armani AR5002 Glasses: $280.00
Fake Mustache: $3.00
Quite possible the greatest tweet ever written.
i know that i’m beautiful because my mother would not have kept and ugly child she has standards
Went from comedic to real as fuck in like 2 seconds